hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
