i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize