didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize