Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
