No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
