I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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