another moral hangover. fuck.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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