i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
