you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
