Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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