But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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