if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
