you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
