i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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