Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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