im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i think my mom watched the whole time
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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