How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
