New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
