Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
