You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Life is so much better after having sex.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
