I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
