I am full of burrito and curiosity
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
