the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
