There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
