I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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