Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
