id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
