i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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