I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
