Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
