i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
