apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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