Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
