i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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