New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i am craving dick and cupcakes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
