plz talk dirty to me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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