why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
