I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Holy shit dude........stairs
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
