either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
oh god the rape fog is back!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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