I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
