Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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