I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I won't apologize to a one balled man
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
