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Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize