It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
