I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize