Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He felt like a one man threesome
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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