I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
