he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
