I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
