I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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