I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have already put on my inside pants.
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