How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
