I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So. Much. Porn.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
