I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
