I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
