Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
