i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
