Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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