paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
