he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
